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let it go


BE HAPPY : START BY LETTING GO 1024 1024 Delphine Remy | Holistic Nutrition & Eating Psychology Coach

Whoever said “life is not a bowl of cherries” had made a keen observation for it is not. Life is full of all sorts of unpleasant events, big and small. The loss of people we know and love, illnesses, financial troubles, daily dose of political news, misbehaving children and all sorts of petty disappointments and aggravations drain our emotional energies and detract from the sense of happiness. While we cannot always brush off the deep and heavy issues, we can cut off the smaller stuff. We can do it by letting it go. The wisdom of this little rule was articulated in the lyrics of the once popular song: “Don’t worry, be happy…”. If some jerk cuts you off on the highway in heavy traffic, don’t get emotional and don’t shout words your mother would disapprove. Just don’t worry, learn to let it go and… be happy. If a store clerk was rude to you don’t let it spoil your day, it’s never worth it. Just let it go and… And yes, you guessed it… be happy. Don’t let small and transitory disappointments control you, your life or your happiness. Curb the attitude you have towards these aggravations and, again, don’t worry, let it go and be happy.

By not letting go we create internal struggles and a personal disservice. Below are a few ways you can bring happiness into your life by letting go and relinquishing the need to control.


Learn to forgive.
Learn to forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made, regrets you feel you have and let go of the negative emotions that make you feel bad about yourself. Forgive others for harm or disappointment they’ve caused you — intentionally or unintentionally. The feeling of resentment and anger can not only have negative side effects on your health but greatly affect the state of your psyche. Forgiveness is the key to personal growth. Letting go of bitterness and grudges is the only way to move forward.

Let go of relationships that no longer serve you. This means negative people, dishonest people, people who don’t respect you, people who are overly critical and relationships that prevent you from growing. You won’t be able grow as a person if you don’t have people in your life who want to grow with you. This concept was popularized by Preston Waters.

Let go of unhappy past. Holding on to an unhappy past is like dragging around an old suitcase with a missing handle: sure it’s there but it’s of little use to you. There is no reason to keep it but to get upset every time you come across it is backwards thinking. Get rid of it, throw it out the window if need be, but don’t let memories of it trouble you and trespass on your happiness.

Each day is a new start. Each day you have a fresh opportunity to recommit to your goals, practice disciplines and learn from your mistakes — regardless of what happened yesterday. Rather than giving energy to the past or postponing plans til the future, invest that energy into yourself and learn to truly live each day as it comes. I know it sounds cliche but as the proverb states “Rome was not built in a day.” You have to give yourself time to work on the things you can and relinquish control of the things you can’t. By committing to progress you are able to make today — you commit to a healthier happier version of yourself.

Be okay with loss. Loss in general can affect us all in very real ways. The loss of a job can put families in serious financial binds and the loss of a loved one can create tremendous grief making it very easy to surrender and call it quits. But I urge you not to. Loss is a part of the package deal we call life and we have to remember that sometimes, we’re going to have bad days, and bad things that have no rhyme or reason will happen to us; but nothing is permanent and it will pass. Humans by nature are so wonderfully resilient and by relinquishing control over what happens to us and doing away with expectations, we can use these experiences to accept things as they are, and master our reactions to them — even to loss. You can choose to be happy because even in loss, there is life and light.

Embrace failure. Don’t fear it, just own it. Michael Jordan, American Basketball superstar, was once quoted saying “ I’ve failed over and over in my life, and that’s why I succeeded.” And he was not alone, Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs were also quoted with similar sayings.
Dedication, perseverance and a willingness (and acceptance) to fail is what made it possible to achieve what each of them were able to achieve. Imagine what you could accomplish without the fear of failure holding you back.

Be Patient. Easier said than done, for sure. Especially with modern conveniences such as Amazon Prime and Netflix making the concept of patience archaic. But I don’t necessarily mean patience in the physical world (although it wouldn’t hurt to practice it there too) but within ourselves. Anger, anxiety and stress are the root of so many health complications, including mental and emotional illnesses, and if we could just make a conscious effort to practice and employ patience as a way of overcoming frustration and managing stress we could avoid the impulses that come with reacting in an irrational manner. You can practice patience by recognizing that you are becoming impatient. Take a few deep, slow breaths and allow it to become clear why you are feeling impatient. As you come to terms with your emotions, expel or convert the negative feelings of anxiety.

By learning to understand our perceptions and where our beliefs and values come from we can identify why emotions like fear, loss and our need to control play such a prominent part in our lives. We all want to be happy, but it cannot be forced. As we all know happiness is not a goal or an achievement, but a state of mind. Choose to be happy — in both times of joy and despair.


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